I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
