doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
nutella sex= disaster
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
