Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
