I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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