I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I would ride that face into the sunset
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
