I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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