I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
