So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The uberlube is also flammable
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
