I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
