I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
