Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
