yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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