Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
