it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
