Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
