You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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