she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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