Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
