I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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