I hate your face
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
