Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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