i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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