She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
we're so committed to being not committed
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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