chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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