jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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