that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
