he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was confusing and full of hummus
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
