I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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