Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
