We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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