we have pet lesbian snakes
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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