Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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