Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
