your parents love me but you hate me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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