i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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