your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
