The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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