did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
