I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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