Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
