The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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