he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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