I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
