Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
