i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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