I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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