nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
