YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
