I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
