nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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